you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
