the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
