I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
