Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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