I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
