he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
