this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
