cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize