I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
