I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
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I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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