Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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