You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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