I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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