she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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