I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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