Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
