How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Small penises have feelings too.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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