There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
