Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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