just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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