I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i think my cat just said my name.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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