i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
