Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize