She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
