i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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