that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I look better un-naked...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
