Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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