Where is the hickey?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
