yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
