Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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