I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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