No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
