I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
