can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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