The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
