My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
