dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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