Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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