Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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