im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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