I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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