Well apparently he's into motor boating.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
