Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize