I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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