I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
