it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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