If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
