doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
