3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
