He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
