Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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