i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
