i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
how does that bad decision feel?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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