he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize