I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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