She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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