this beer tastes like vomit already
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
