can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
