Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
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I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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