So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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