ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
